Have you a friend that you momentarily shared a bond with and then you both parted ways - each living his/her own life - but in your hearts you know that when you see each other you would jump for joy or delight? I have a friend like that. And this morning I found out that she died..
Joecel was my brother's high school classmate and that meant that there was a ten-year difference in our age. She was a really intelligent, determined lady with a very bubbly personality. The word "boring" was alien to her. But despite that ten-year difference, she remains a strong presence in my memory. She treated me like an equal and yet i felt that if something ever happened to me, she would be ready to help out like an older sister would.
My friendship with her was not the usual kind where you both memorized each other's life story. In fact, i know very little of her. But the moments that i spent with her were powerful enough to leave an imprint. Here are some of my experiences with her:
1. ) I once had a benign mixed tumor removed just below my left ear when i was in my 3rd year of college. When i started to notice the growth, she helped recommend a skilled head and neck surgeon. It was a tricky procedure since the tumor was planted right smack in the middle of my facial nerve and one tremble of my surgeon's hands, half my face gets paralyzed. During the operation, she scrubbed in and was present in the operating room. It was a nice feeling, knowing you have a friend in the background during a very invasive procedure.
2. ) I was preparing for my board exam (in Medical Technology) and i suddenly had bouts of hyper-acidity. I was getting quite worried about it but, like the good doctor that she was, she reassured me and explained what was happening. I was getting tense and stressed about my upcoming board exam. She prescribed antacid to be taken 15 mins after a meal. From then on, whenever i experience hyper-acidity, I would recall her words and do the exact same thing she recommended and each time it worked.
3. ) She constantly encouraged me to go after my dream, what i wanted. After passing my board exam, i was tentatively considering working in the U.S. but wanted to leave right away. She suggested that i apply as a student intern for a hospital in New Jersey on a student VISA. She had the applications and she gave them to me.
4.) I applied as a volunteer Med Tech for a government hospital in Cebu and you all know how hard it is to be accepted to a government hospital, even as a volunteer. You had to know people who could pull some strings. Joecel very kindly offered to be one of my references as she was working in the hospital that time. I guess that was enough since she was a superb doctor and her credentials were strong. I was accepted.
5.) After joining my GK family, we chanced to meet in Manila and I had dinner (in Banana Leaf) with her and her friend. My husband was with me but he was still a boyfriend back then. We had a great time. And she was so happy about my joining GK. Although initially she was encouraging me to go after my old dream of becoming a doctor, when that dream changed, she was still there, cheering me on.
She was such a determined individual who was not selfish at all. When she succeeded, she also wanted the people around her to succeed. I cannot fathom how a person like that had her life snatched away while other people who do not even bother to contribute to anything get to live to an old age.
Joecel was pregnant with her second baby, Nate, and was scheduled for a ceasarian section this Dec 22, 2010. This morning, she had a cardiac arrest and was immediately brought to the hospital but the doctors were unable to revive her. Her doctor friends came at once, including her OB. But all were in vain. Too late.
Not even her baby, Nate, was saved.
She was very close to our family. She was constantly ready to help us.
Before my brother met his wife, everyone in the family was ready to have her as an in-law. That was a personal joke that we all remember fondly. That's why we were so happy when she had her own family. We wanted good things to happen to her as she had wished the same thing for us. That's how close she was to us.
This morning, after that shattering phone call from my brother, I took out the rum cake that was a Christmas gift from another friend. The cake was a favorite and we would slowly eat it, relishing it. I gazed at the cake, only half of it left. Lifting my knife, I brought it down to take a slice and paused. Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to cut up the cake without thoroughly giving a thought to how it would be best divided so that everyone can have a share of its wonderful taste. I tried several times. At last, I took a deep breath, thought carefully and then started cutting.
We will never be sure when our number is up and for that reason alone, it is important to approach life like there's no other chance to do certain things. No procrastinating. It is also important to put a balance to everything. In my case, be a wonderful mom, a supportive wife, a mission-ready servant, a loving sister and daughter, a friend to whoever needs one. I agree with a fellow blogger's musings, "it is so important to try and find joy every day - in the simple tasks of life, in the world that surrounds us, in our family, and in our friendships. For me that is perhaps the truest definition of 'living life to the full' ". Joecel and the rum cake reminds me, a normally slow-paced individual, to live life to the fullest and to be there for everyone. An impossible feat? Hmm. But then again I do have the everlasting memory of Joecel with me.
Joecel, you will be sorely missed...
Joecel with husband, Dave, and son, Justin.
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